She Ran - Karl Verkade.mp3

[00:25.95]The night was cold and thin.
[00:28.72]The air was scantily clad in such a way that she felt that
[00:31.64]If she could but stop for a second, she could reach through it and grasp time.
[00:37.12]Arrest it, stop it, bring back the years of hope,
[00:42.87]Before the years of inevitably set in.
[00:46.46]But she did not stop.
[00:49.19]She ran.
[00:52.61]Air is a precious commodity; one she had taken for granted until it was all she had.
[01:00.79]Tonight she chased it; she felt as if her lungs could not get enough of it.
[01:08.21]With each new step, a new shallow breath,
[01:12.39]And a new resolve to continue filling her chest
[01:15.66]With the last thing in this world that was free.
[01:20.00]She knew that if she stopped, the night would end;
[01:23.53]And she did not want the night to end.
[01:26.50]The colors were too vivid.
[01:29.10]First the reds…the piercing reds.
[01:32.64]They swept out of the night sky in such an instant
[01:36.35]That she did not have time to witness their origin.
[01:39.41]But there they were.
[01:41.18]Swirling, brilliant reds that swept her up like she scarcely remembered.
[01:47.21]Indeed, did she even remember it?
[01:49.74]Or was this the embodiment of a shadow she always hoped to one day remember.
[01:54.94]The color floated around her as she ran, keeping up with her;
[01:59.28]Perhaps even lagging back a little so that she could keep up with it.
[02:03.83]She could not help it; she began to be entranced by its brilliance,
[02:08.85]Though she dared not slow down.
[02:11.09]She peered into it,
[02:13.13]Trying to imprint upon her memory every detail of its stunning lifeform.
[02:17.78]Then suddenly, did it change?
[02:21.60]The reds were not quite as flowing as they once were.
[02:25.12]They moved a little more awkwardly.
[02:27.91]She knew she had seen that movement before, somewhere.
[02:31.38]Then she remembered.
[02:32.90]Yes! The reds were walking!
[02:33.74]Alongside her they walked, still dancingly keeping up with her every running stride.
[02:41.10]Their shapes became more and more human.
[02:44.16]She recognized one of the colors.
[02:46.93]He looked into her eyes with the love that said that it was already finished;
[02:51.42]There was nothing she could do to ever spurn that love.
[02:55.40]Then another color touched her shoulder.
[02:59.03]She whirled her head around just in time to catch the shape
[03:03.46]Of a life that spoke of a bond with her that nothing but tears could form.
[03:06.44]In an instant, the motherly shape was gone,
[03:11.75]But reformed next to the figure on her other side, walking arm in arm with it.
[03:15.10]She almost stumbled.
[03:20.55]Something had touched her heels.
[03:22.72]She turned her head around long enough to see a child following behind her.
[03:27.15]It was a little girl…a little girl without colors.
[03:32.07]She skipped and sauntered, without a care in the world,
[03:36.58]But all the time keeping up with her.
[03:38.86]She wondered at the child; she wondered at childhood.
[03:43.33]So happy, so light; all its cares are immediate.
[03:49.63]There is no sense of that fact that time will one day have its way.
[03:54.65]No one tells children the truth.
[03:57.64]From somewhere behind the child, deep in the distance,
[04:02.39]She thought she saw another red.
[04:05.71]A different red.
[04:07.37]But she couldn't be sure; she had to keep her head straight onward,
[04:11.46]To immerse herself in the air, in the night.
[04:14.38]Nor did she have time to worry about the new color,
[04:18.05]Or the child, as the brilliant reds by her side had split into multiple colors,
[04:19.56]Each walking at its own pace somewhere by her side.
[04:27.08]They were dear to her…some moreso than others.
[04:30.97]All looked at her with varying degrees of knowingness.
[04:34.99]One in particular.
[04:36.66]He looked at her with a seriousness, and a questioning.
[04:40.01]His was by far the most tender touch, but not the most knowing.
[04:45.92]She slowed slightly, gasping for breath as she did.
[04:49.53]She turned to look at him, but her gaze was interrupted by the new color,
[04:54.76]Now creeping along the horizon next to her.
[04:58.72]It was a dark color, and threatened to swallow the red she now fought desperately to keep.
[04:58.82]She reached out for him; but slowly he faded, and slowly the dark approached.
[05:05.05]She had seen this before.
[05:16.28]In an instant he was gone, and in his place were two other brilliant reds.
[05:21.21]One for whom she cared, one with whom she was comfortable.
[05:25.33]The dark color approached.
[05:29.10]She tried to outrun it, but it was of no use.
[05:32.99]It swallowed up the two colors just as it had swallowed the last.
[05:37.95]She now saw that it was not a darkness, but a deepness.
[05:42.40]A deep red that spoke of something she knew all too well.
[05:46.21]It sent shudders through her life-stained body.
[05:49.92]The shudders continued as she ran.
[05:53.65]And continued.
[05:55.14]Until she had unknowingly discovered that she was quite at home with the shudders.
[05:59.50]She did not mind them.
[06:01.91]In fact, the deep red had mixed with the brilliant red so much so that
[06:06.44]Neither color was now better or worse for the mixing;
[06:12.20]But they were more real.
[06:13.88]Then, just as she was about to acquiesce to the new deep and brilliant red,
[06:18.24]It suddenly birthed a figure.
[06:20.65]And she hated.
[06:22.41]She hated its curves, and its smoothness, and its beauty.
[06:26.96]It tore from the rest of the colors, revealing its blackness.
[06:31.19]And then, in horror, she watched as it reached back
[06:35.52]Into the deep and brilliant red and pulled from it the loving figure.
[06:40.70]He looked at her as she ran with the same,
[06:43.42]Unquenchable love as before, as he faded off into the distance
[06:47.77]With the beautiful black figure.
[06:50.18]She ran harder; and at her heels she felt the child again.
[06:57.75]She turned again to look, and now saw a young lady, walking warily behind her.
[07:01.70]She knew that look; the colors had replaced the innocence.
[07:09.88]She had never been sure which was more desirable;
[07:13.15]But now she knew that neither could ever coexist peacefully with the other.
[07:17.61]The deep, brilliant red circled around her and comforted her.
[07:23.28]It did not split into its native colors, nor would it ever again.
[07:28.58]And she was grateful.
[07:30.52]Now there was another color.
[07:34.13]It crept out from behind her.
[07:37.12]She turned to look; were the colors coming from the child?
[07:41.48]But it was no longer a child, or a young lady.
[07:44.52]It was a young woman…a young woman with a war in her eyes,
[07:49.46]Between childlike hope and the lamentable wisdom of the inevitable.
[07:54.00]She recognized that look.
[07:56.87]And she ran faster.
[07:58.85]But she could not outrun the new color.
[08:03.01]It surrounded her,
[08:05.27]And here and there penetrated the deep and brilliant red with its yellow haze.
[08:09.88]It was a tired color…so tired that it was almost transparent,
[08:15.17]And blended in with the night in such a way that at times,
[08:19.17]In her gasping for air, she would inevitably suck in its yellow weariness as well.
[08:24.36]But she did not mind.
[08:27.52]A little weariness might even be nice…
[08:30.24]It made her feel as if her running was accomplishing something.
[08:34.05]Accomplishment.
[08:35.82]The reds spoke nothing of that.
[08:39.06]She wondered at her life, and for the first time, looked upwards.
[08:45.17]There were no colors to see through…just the night sky.
[08:48.81]The vastness looked down upon her as if it knew her.
[08:54.18]She slowed a little, letting her inconsequential state settle in over tired bones.
[09:00.24]The yellow crept wearily into her upward gaze,
[09:04.96]And she knew the child at her heels was now a woman.
[09:08.39]She did not turn, but ran onwards,
[09:11.93]knowing all too well the look in the pursuing woman's eyes.
[09:15.75]There would be tears, resolve, the tiniest glints of echoes that were once laughter;
[09:22.61]But most of all, the yellow weariness.
[09:26.68]Her legs were tired, her lungs empty.
[09:31.80]She inhaled without the benefit of air,
[09:35.35]As the deep and brilliant red moved underneath her and helped her forward.
[09:39.35]The yellow slowed her enough to where she could look around her a bit;
[09:44.65]She discovered trees…big, green trees towering over her on either side.
[09:51.02]
[09:57.17]And the little child softly padded around in front of her.
[10:01.65]The bright eyes of the child were now furrowed under a wrinkled brow,
[10:08.30]And the once beautiful cheekbones now protruded in
[10:11.84]A manner unworthy of the years and wisdom that made them such.
[10:16.23]At first she blushed with the hardness of the old woman's gaze,
[10:20.10]But then stared back at herself with the same knowing inevitability.
[10:25.97]The old woman took her hand in hers, and walked her down the path.
[10:31.09]She tried to run to keep up, but could not;
[10:36.01]The old woman dragged her softly and silently onward,
[10:39.88]As the deep and brilliant red carried her,
[10:42.71]The tired yellow enveloped her,
[10:44.80]And the green trees lapped gently at their own dust which formed her body.
[10:51.32]And she stopped running.
[10:55.78]
[11:06.44]It had been a miserable night,
[11:07.98]And they were excited to be able to go into the alley and play today.
[11:12.67]They bounced the ball against the cracked bricks of the tall buildings,
[11:16.74]And he even let her win a few times.
[11:19.68]But this turn, he was going to win.
[11:22.90]With all the bravado a big brother can muster,
[11:26.14]He slammed the ball at the corner of the building where the curb met the bricks.
[11:30.32]The ball ricocheted down the alley, towards an oncoming truck.
[11:34.54]As it did, it dislodged some old newspaper crumblings,
[11:38.70]And in the tired yellow light cascading onto the alley through the old buildings,
[11:43.50]They saw it.
[11:45.47]His sister screamed and went running back through the shabby aluminum door
[11:48.35]Into their mother’s apartment.
[11:51.78]But he couldn't move.
[11:53.57]He stared at her.
[11:56.24]
[12:00.97]They drove down the alley.
[12:02.91]What a miserable day.
[12:04.70]The night had been cold, and whenever the nights were cold,
[12:08.41]He knew it would be a long day.
[12:10.26]He watched as two children bounced a ball against the side of the grimy building.
[12:15.91]The ball got away from them and in the tired yellow haze peering through the buildings,
[12:19.27]He saw the ball dislodge some old papers;
[12:24.41]And underneath it, he saw another one.
[12:28.02]They stopped the truck and walked over to the body.
[12:31.36]It was not her…it was never her; it was a shell.
[12:37.11]He wondered who she was.
[12:40.53]They picked her up, and he knew that beneath his gloves, there was coldness.
[12:47.63]But her open eyes seemed peaceful; somehow that brought him comfort.
[12:52.51]He looked into her eyes as the red of the bag enveloped her body, and she was gone.
[12:58.28]It was then that he noticed the boy.
[13:04.50]He hadn't moved, but was staring at them with large, questioning eyes.
[13:09.59]He nodded at the boy as they carried her back to their truck,
[13:14.52]And attempted a smile through his mask.
[13:14.61]The boy was motionless.
[13:22.13]"We're just taking her someplace where she can rest," was all he managed.
[13:26.62]"I know what the green trucks mean," said the boy bravely.
[13:31.17]"But you've never seen this before?"
[13:34.79]The boy shook his head,
[13:36.91]Fighting back the tears for which he had been taught he was too old.
[13:40.46]The man stopped, and pulled his mask off over his head.
[13:45.76]He looked straight into the boy's quivering eyes.
[13:48.62]"It's very short. Don't waste it."
[13:53.30]He looked at the boy.
[13:56.60]The boy looked back at him.
[13:59.95]Not knowing what else to do, he slowly turned away,
[14:04.31]Leaving the boy standing alone in the alley;
[14:06.93]Older, whether he wanted to be or not.
[14:10.47]They put her in with all the rest.
[14:16.47]
[14:25.76]