[00:18.536]Saturday morning comes and goes[00:20.925]Without too much on my mind[00:23.578]Except maybe lunch[00:25.705]I walk down to the shops just to move[00:28.368]Feel a bit rough from last night[00:31.280]I may have drunk a bit too much[00:33.141]A lady in the supermarket[00:34.995]Approaches way to fast[00:36.852]And her eyes are intense[00:38.188]And she spits a little bit when she asks:[00:40.050]"Where do you keep the pasta"[00:41.378]"I dunno, aisle 3?"[00:43.231]"Well can you get it for me?"[00:44.556]I just want a Gatorade[00:46.159]But she rolls her eyes so I kind of lose it[00:48.022][00:48.366][00:50.138]Hey[00:50.951]I don't work here[00:52.536]And if I did[00:54.665]I would not sell you shit[00:57.330]Hey[00:58.398]I don't work here[01:00.008]But maybe I should[01:01.587]That way I could hide all of the things you want from you[01:04.514]Hey[01:05.575]I don't work here[01:07.170]But if I did[01:08.788]Would I be wearing a dirty white singlet (ya fool)[01:12.255]Hey[01:13.575]I don't work here[01:14.648]But maybe I should[01:16.241]Silly me! I've had the pasta all along (**** you)[01:19.420][01:19.773][01:21.013]O-woh-oh[01:21.287]O-woh-oh[01:21.814]O-woh-oh[01:22.347]I don't work here[01:23.406]O-woh-oh[01:24.204]O-woh-oh[01:25.277]O-woh-oh[01:26.074]I don't work here[01:27.133][01:27.477][01:34.297]Saturday arvo comes and goes[01:35.880]And I'm feeling pretty great[01:39.614]I made a middle-aged woman cry today[01:41.739]Walking on the hot sand at Bondi beach[01:43.330]I take a rest in the lifeguard tower shade[01:47.329]My foresight readies me for Melee[01:48.923]A man runs from the surf[01:50.782]And approaches way too fast[01:52.386]With a bluebottle across his chest[01:54.228]He shakes me as he asks:[01:56.084]"You gotta save my kid!"[01:57.430]"I can't really swim"[01:58.479]"What kind of lifeguard are you then?"[02:00.340]I'm just here to take a nap[02:01.936]But he rolls his eyes so I kind of snap[02:04.065][02:03.642][02:06.670]Hey[02:07.204]I don't work here[02:08.263]And if I did[02:10.387]I would not save your kid[02:13.051]Hey[02:14.123]I don't work here[02:15.705]But maybe I should[02:17.298]That way I could help relieve that nasty sting for you[02:20.764]Hey[02:21.545]I don't work here[02:23.142]But if I did[02:24.497]Would I make a race car out of sand then fall asleep?[02:27.669]Hey[02:28.993]I don't work here[02:30.325]But maybe I should[02:32.457]Maybe I should[02:34.327]Maybe I should[02:37.229][02:36.625][02:38.299]"Should do what, save my son?"[02:39.886]"No, get a job"[02:41.216]"What about my son, he's drowning!"[02:42.551]"Your son's fine, he just swims weird, and you shouldn't hold that against him"[02:46.477]"Oh my god, thank you, I can't begin to -[02:48.613]He's gone"[02:49.936][02:50.135][02:50.725]Saturday night comes and goes[02:52.591]Without too much on my mind[02:55.526]Just kicking a ball down the street[02:57.368]I give it too much juice and it flies over the the fence[02:59.489]Of my local NASA compound[03:03.474]Just bear with me[03:05.079]Guards are all passed out[03:06.663]It seems there's been a planned attack[03:08.266]The alarm is blaring loud[03:10.117]But I'm the only one intact[03:11.978]I try to phone for help but unfortunately[03:15.647]There's an alien transmitting itself to NASA screens specifically[03:19.635]"Give us ya planet"[03:20.682]"Ok, I don't, let me find someone alright? Just relax"[03:22.811]"Give us ya planet"[03:24.140]"Hey! I-I said - ok. We're under attack!"[03:27.063]"Give us ya planet"[03:27.872]"Ok, I don't have the authority to do that"[03:31.053]I just came to get my ball[03:32.112]But it's been a long day so I speak for us all[03:34.227][03:33.914][03:35.572]"Ladies and gentlemen, we are reporting live across the globe. Alarming news, as extra-terrestrial life has issued a statement of war to planet Earth (war). The alien transmission technology has left all but one individual incapacitated within the transmission receiving point, a NASA space compound located in Sydney, Australia (Australia). The time has come, and humankind can do nothing more than pray and watch on, as the diplomat for planet Earth responds, with what we can only imagine as an articulate plea for peace and mercy"[04:05.337][04:05.561][04:05.856]Hey[04:06.669]I don't work here[04:08.551]And if I did[04:10.420]I would not surrender shit[04:13.347]Hey[04:14.143]I don't work here[04:15.476]But maybe I should[04:17.336]That way I could take a trip to mars and strangle you[04:20.252]Hey[04:21.322]I don't work here[04:23.171]But if I did[04:24.503]Do you think the president of Earth has a ****ing mullet?[04:27.956]Hey[04:28.747]I don't work here[04:30.341]But maybe I should[04:32.195]That way I could put my planetary fist in you[04:35.656](Maybe I should) That way I could teach your kid to drown in front of you[04:39.116](Maybe I should) That way I could hide all of the linguini from you